One of the amazing things about this interweb is the way that our use of it seems to be constantly evolving.  I thought I had things figured out pretty well there, for a while, with a blog and my email I was feeling super hip, but these days information is coming at me from so many sources it is hard to keep track of it all — and guess what — I love it!  I know that it is distracting and I have to force myself to put down my phone and look up at my children, but I am really invigorated by the new ideas coming my way.  I subscribe to a few blogs on google reader, but I also see links to blogs and articles on my facebook and twitter accounts.

One downside is that I (we) haven’t found an easy way to share what we are reading with our BC readers.  We are working on it, but in the meantime I click through to something on twitter and think, wow, everyone should read this, but the link never makes it from my mobile-twitter app to my desktop to wordpress.  Oh well, someday you will all be able to read my thoughts electronically, and I won’t have to filter anything.

Speaking of filters, though, more might be good from time to time, and we have been chatting a bit about privacy on our Builders email list (see, even we still have some private conversations).  To that end, you might click over to (one of my favorite blogs) Clover Lane and read what she has to say about Teens and Facebook.  I am always thankful for the mothers who go before us and figure some of this stuff out, since my oldest is only 10.

Next, I have been on the defensive a bit lately, and then I saw this post on the SixSeeds newsletter.  The title “Why I don’t homeschool, and why you shouldn’t either,” got my heart racing and I was ready for a huge fight.  Boy, was I surprised by what this articulate writer had to say.  I will be following her in the future.

Yesterday, someone gave us a brand new board game, Life, which was an extra at their house.  My kids are always dying to play games with me, but I rarely have the patience.  I have been playing a lot of Words with Friends on my phone with my oldest, which is a super fun and stimulating way to pass the time, and we had a rockin game of scrabble last weekend, so I want more game time in the future.  Just this morning, I got this post on my facebook feed, which encouraged me to make it happen.

Lastly, on my kindle reader I am slowly working through The Faith Explained by Fr. Leo Trese.  What an amazing book, I could not recommend it more strongly.  I am thinking about using it for confirmation prep when we get to that point.  This book seems to answer all of the questions that I always had but was too afraid, or inarticulate, to ask about my faith.  I wish that every Catholic would read it before they go to college.

What am I cooking?

Last night I made a Shepherd’s Pie for a dear friend who is in the throes of morning sickness with her seventh pregnancy. I saved enough meat and frozen veggies to make us a family-size one tonight — I will just have to whip up fresh mashed potatoes for the top. I love shepherd’s pie because kids get all the food groups in each bite and the ingredients are toddler-boy-mouth-friendly.

What are my weekend plans?

Our current "baby" at a Polish Pottery Shop

With me at 37.5-weeks pregnant, we are on Grandma-watch. She comes to us as a standby passenger on military cargo planes (free, but highly unpredictable timetables) – so we are never sure exactly the day she will arrive. Fortunately there is a large Air Force Base just an hour from us, so the drive is a cinch. We have zero backup plan for who else will care for the other three kiddos when labor begins, so prayers for St. Christopher’s intercession will be rolling up to heaven from here for the next week or so until she gets here.

What are my prayer intentions for the day?

For some very difficult human/personality issues that are interfering with ministry at our current Army chapel. I am praying to stay out of the fray despite my heavy involvement with (drama-rich) women’s ministry and my “passionate” temperament. We are all made to be like Christ, and he dealt with everyone with love – man I have such a long way to go.

What can my children do instead of watching TV?

Laundry baskets and bungee cords occupy an insane amount of my 4 and 2 year old sons’ time in these indoor, nasty German days. I have three laundry baskets – 2 which nest and one smaller. They get turned into cages, boats, forts, train carts. The bungee cords are the real “Daddy ones” that have metal hooks on the end and my mom is always horrified that I allow them to play with them (“they’ll put their eye out”), but she isn’t here yet, so we press on homeschooling at the kitchen table while laundry basket boats get pushed by with happy giggling brothers in them.

What have I done for my marriage this week?

Been positive and flexible about the possibilities for our next duty assignment. We are due to leave Germany this summer, so now is the time when my husband has daily talks with the Pentagon to see where we will go next. He is very concerned that we will be happy at the new spot and that he will avoid any unnecessarily long deployment, but I am trying to ensure that he also keeps his own job satisfaction in mind while deciding. I really feel that way too.

What am I reading?

I just finished The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood. I am mildly enamored of her since reading The Handmaid’s Tale in college, but as an older, married woman I think I have decided that she doesn’t believe men and women can have fulfilling relationships – at least none of her characters ever do. So, I might steer away from her for awhile. I am now reading The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton because I saw it on a Mom blog. It is way lighter and set in Australia, which is a first for me. I didn’t realize how Britishy customs are there, I guess I should have figured. Good book so far.

What’s challenging me lately?

As mentioned above, I think I am too embroiled in Parish life at our chapel. Being an Army wife typically gives one the freedom to break ties and start anew every three years or so, but we have now been here longer than that. During that time I have worked hard to build a vibrant program for stay-at-home-moms who want to grow in their faith, we have weekly Scripture study and monthly guest speakers. But Satan has really been attacking the group this year. I am torn between wanting to pull out entirely for my own (and my family’s) mental health, or “sticking it out” for the sake of the other women whom I have come to treasure as dear friends.

Something that made me think?

Yesterday’s Mass readings – for the feast of the Conversion of Saint Paul – mentioned how Ananais cures Paul’s blindness when he arrives in Damascus. I couldn’t help but think of all the areas in my spiritual and intellectual life where I am blind.  God is continually placing my own Ananaiss in my life.  These friends, and even my husband speak great truths to me, I just need to pray for the humility to hear what they say with openness of heart.

My 7 year-old son, who used to be the pickiest of eaters (he ate almost nothing in his younger years), just came home from school and ate, in one sitting:

-a bowl of blueberries

-bacon

- 2 bananas with peanut butter

-and a slice of pumpkin bread

-all washed down with a glass of water

He used to eat only cheerios and yogurt, and drank only milk or apple juice. We have come a long way! My theory is that as long as you stick to good eating habits, kids will eventually realize that they are hungry and will (for the most part) start eating the foods that you offer them. Good luck to all of you moms of picky eaters – I feel your pain, but it will get better!

In the Heart of my Home: Our Disney Trip: Organized Packing and Playing in the Van.

I recommend the link above, if you are constantly planning/dreaming a disney trip in your head, as I am, but more importantly for some practical tips that apply to any family travel.
When I took 4-under-3 to disney, and I knew that I would care how they looked in pictures, I put each outfit into a gallon ziplock.  This way, they could grab a bag from their tote bag and bring it to mom, dad, or grandparent and be dressed in a flash, no digging through the bag for the matching shirt.  This extra, OCD step was a big help.

These days, we often use packing lists, which allow the older children to do a decent job of packing for themselves.  Usually, I write a check list on the white board and put their bags in the kitchen, and they have to come past me as they put things in so that I can keep an eye on it.

The one big tip I will take away from Elizabeth’s article is a “just in case” (motion sickness) bag for the car.  We spend 3 hours in the car on Friday and Sunday nights, and while I am very lucky to have kids who are not usually car sick, we have had a random stomach flu hit us in the car — yuck!  A kit like the one she describes would have come in handy many times already, and I am going to set one up to keep in our car all the time.

Lastly, as we are frequent weekend travellers and I load up on my own, picking Dad up at the train along the way, having an LL Bean tote bag with each child’s name on it has been huge for us — they know which is their bag and now on weekends they are responsible for putting it in the car as they get in and taking it out when we arrive.  Small steps towards self sufficiency lighten mama’s load quite a bit.

I do still need a better plan for the stuff that the kids use while in the car, it winds up all over the floor of the car and stepped on and ruined by muddy boots.  I was thinking of putting in those organizers on the seat in front of you with pockets to hold some things?  Any suggestions would be welcome.

I had an unexpected, serendipitous pro-life, pro-family conversation with my oldest daughter.  We’ve been working on baby books and talking a lot about babies and pregnancy (and G attending Josie’s birth, which has led to LOTS of questions about Labor and Delivery).  My daughter said “having a baby seems really hard, is it worth it?”  I looked right at her and spoke from the heart “I carried you, was that worth it?”

She gave me a big smile and a hug and we both had a lot more to think about.  A pregnancy, a new baby, with all of the difficulties, it is a life, it is a person.  One of the things that does get easier if you are able to have several children is the understanding, as they get older, of how very “worth it” any sacrifices may be, in fact how minor even large sacrifices seem when compared to a life.

I had my first four children in 3 years.  I loved them, and sometimes loved the intensity of it all, but it was impossible for me to see the light at the end of the tunnel, that they would gradually turn into people who could play scrabble and (mostly) find their own shoes.  For a while I was very, very angry at people who encouraged me to be open to having more children.  My life was so, so hard I was barely surviving.  Then, gradually, things began to ease up.  By the time all of the “older 4″ were over 3, I could see room for another baby.  We took a leap of faith and plunged ourselves back into the exhausting hardness by having two children within another year.  When I get up in the night or change a diaper or hear about Lego creations ad nauseum, I tell myself, this will not be forever.  When I gather by the fire to read Little House or snuggle someone who still fits in the crook of my arm and smells like lavender, I tell myself, this will not be forever.

Perhaps this is an addendum to my previous post, but I have to say once again that I don’t find any of this easy, I don’t find it easier to be so busy I don’t have time to think, to be exhausted day after day.  I have “easy” pregnancies, I throw up non-stop for 6 weeks, can’t get out of bed, but after that I am fine until the last month or so, when I am too huge to move much, but so excited that I don’t care.  This is one of the things that I tell people who ask about my family size, because it is much more heroic for women who have really hard pregnancies.

The things that have changed inside me between having one child (or four) and now are mostly my understanding of personal sanctification and my understanding of the absolute wonder of these individual people who are born into my life, both of which make the sacrifices of family life so much more worth it.

Please remember all those Marching for Life in Washington today.  It wasn’t that many years ago that all the Builders would venture down to DC from Princeton to march and pray for an end to abortion.

I confess that as a busy mother I am often willfully ignorant about the horror of abortion and the frequency of this crime in our nation.  I often joke that I make my own pro-life statement every other January, giving birth to another baby!

I am always reminded of the horror of abortion at this time of year, and never more poignantly so than yesterday, when I had to explain the evil of abortion to my oldest two children.  My body temperature began to rise with rage as I looked at their innocent faces, slowly losing that innocence as their own mother explained that doctors and mommies and daddies choose to kill innocent babies.  I nodded in agreement as Gianna vehemently argued that people should give their babies up for adoption if they don’t want them.  “Why do they have to kill them”, she asked?  My only response was that the world can be a very evil and cruel place, and people can be very misguided, making poor choices because they are confused.  I felt a lump in my throat as Charlie was concerned that someone would try to kill Josie.  We explained that we would never let that happen, but it was really a sad, horrible conversation.  I felt angry that the laws of our nation strip my children of their innocence and make their own parents talk to them about the killing of infants in the womb.

So please take some time today to pray for an end to abortion.  Please pray for all those marching, and please, please pray for the leaders of our nation.  Pray their eyes will be opened to the horror of abortion, and pray their hearts will be changed.

And speaking of the leaders of our nation, the White House and President Obama announced last week that they will not be allowing a conscience objection on the HHS regulations for Catholic or Religious institutions.  In practical terms, what this means is that in a years time, all medical insurance plans will be required to distribute contraception and provide other unethical family planning services–for free–to all women.  The Catholic Church will be forced, against its own religious beliefs, to distribute contraception.  There will be no religious exemption for Catholic Institutions.

In the weeks and months ahead, it will be interesting to see how the Catholic Bishops handle this declaration of war against our Church.  Will they shut down Catholic Hospitals?  Will they refuse to comply?  Will they negotiate and/or will with President change his anti-Catholic position, it is an election year after all?

I don’t have extensive time to write on this today, but I am horrified by Obama’s extreme violation of our religious liberty.  For more thoughts, please read the following two links–

The National Catholic Reporter

Professor Robert George at Mirror of Justice

This article about family size has been getting a lot of comments and has appeared in my inbox from several sources.  I have to admit that I haven’t even read the entire thing, nor any of the comments, because I had a sense that it would hit a raw nerve with some people.

I have been thinking and praying a lot about the subject of family size, though, because I am at a new volunteer position where a lot of women are learning that I have six children and responding with an interesting combination of shock and awe.  Most of the comments I get in this particular (pro-family) environment are positive, in a way, people have asked me where I hide my halo, why I look so calm and well rested, and of course I have heard the comment which begins the NC Register article, I have such a hard time with just 1 (or 2, 3, even 4)!

I agree with Simcha Fisher, in a lot of ways my life is easier now, with six children, than it was when I was the 23 year old, newlywed, mother of just 1.  I have learned how to parent, and my husband and I have a stronger relationship, so that makes things easier.  I don’t have a nursing baby at the moment, and that makes things way easier.  All of my children are potty trained and they mostly sleep through the night.  I have a system for laundry that I didn’t have then, and a little bit of household help so I can get out from time to time, and more friends who are mothers.

However, most of these things would be true, 10 years later, whether or not I had 5 children in between, and while I am extremely satisfied with my life, I have no doubt that it would be much easier if I only had one 10 year old, or even just the 10 and 9 year olds.  I would have less laundry, they would be in school all day, I could afford a vacation to take my family on an airplane and a trip to the grocery store would only require one cart.  I will join the mothers of 1,2, and 3 and say that even with 6, I don’t know how a mother of 9 does it.  I pray that I get the chance to find out!

There is a lot that is still very, very difficult about having a large family.  It is more or less difficult in different ways for different families.  The chances of a child with special needs is higher.  Only having a brief break between pregnancy and nursing is hard.  Going in to survival mode when 8 people have the stomach flu is hard.  Finding a babysitter who is willing and capable of caring for 6 children is hard.  Making time to meet each of their emotional needs and adjust to their varied temperaments is hard.

The reason that we were created, stated very simply in the Baltimore Catechism, is to know, love and serve God in this life and live with Him in the next.  Our goal is not to find the easiest way to get through life.  What a sad, lazy goal that would be.

We don’t need to try to convince the secular world that having a large family is easy, because it’s not true, but a better argument is that easy isn’t the goal.  We need to work hard to convince young women and men of the next generation that life is worth the struggle.  A life that is hard doesn’t have to be miserable.  It is the struggle to do what you are supposed to do, when you are supposed to do it, cheerfully and with a generous spirit.  This struggle is present for all Christians, regardless of family size or vocation, and it is in this struggle that we are sanctified.

Back at one of our yearly check-ups, I can recall the doc saying, “Oh, you don’t need to worry about night-time dryness until 7.”  ”Whew!” was my response.  We had plenty of time to get there.  I thought about the potential our family might have to write a post like this, but quickly shrugged it off saying that surely by the time it was necessary to write this post, the problem would be gone and we’d be home free.  Newsflash: We’re not.

In two shorts weeks my oldest, M, will be turning 7.  It is a magical time of boyhood full of imaginary play, toys and legos, increased reason.  I am really enjoying this phase and watching his maturity emerge.  I can’t even begin to describe the elation I feel when I’m able to sit down and have a rational conversation together.  It is one of absolute joy.  It has taken a long road to get here, still with bumps in our path, but many fewer. Thanks be to God.  Despite the increasing maturity, however, my almost-7yo is still wetting the bed.

He still wears Pull-Ups; he still leaks through almost every night; I am still washing sheets A LOT (but probably not as much as I should–I am one woman).  He’s inherited my deep circadian rhythms and sleeps like a champ.  Always has.  The one problem is that his brain hasn’t learned to shut off his plumbing while resting!  And we are all suffering through.  My main worry is he has begun to become self-conscious about the problem and ask us to help him find a solution.  We’ve also had to turn down sleepover invites because he’s embarrassed to be wearing a diaper to bed.  Poor guy!  Thankfully his younger brothers haven’t conquered it yet either, though our 3yo is dry most nights.  Sure enough, J has always been the lightest of our sleepers.

We’ve tried a few things with little to no success–reduction in fluids before bed, sticker charts for dry nights (these do nothing bc he has zero control!), waking him later before we go to bed…

The doctor has talked about putting him on a drying medicine to reduce his overall fluids, which I am adamantly against.  I do NOT want to medicate him unnecessarily, especially if there is a behavioral product that will help us.  We’ve also looked into the night-time alarms, but their sticker price has prevented us from going forward.  I’ve read mixed reviews on their effectiveness, so I’m not sure it’s worth the investment.  The kids who have done well with them seem to improve within days.  Anything that’s that good, I’m almost willing to spend any amount of money!

What to do?  Can anyone offer some wisdom on this front?  Should we go with an alarm and try it out?  And if so, which one do you recommend?

Is there anything like a girl and her daddy?

What am I cooking?  Something with beef stew meat, diced tomatoes, an onion…  Any suggestions?  I am attempting to clear out my freezer this week and will be whipping up something with these ingredients in my slow cooker this morning.  I am hoping a website like this one  will save me–just type in the ingredients you have and it gives you a mega list of recipes that comply.  Voila!  Dinner served!

What are my weekend plans?  Princeton Alumni Interviews, baby!  Saturday morning I will be meeting with four prospective Princeton students and getting to know them in 45 minutes or less.  GG and I try to do our part in alumni interviews each year, but I will admit, it is a rather painstaking process–arranging meetings, driving to meetings, taking hours to sit down and “interview” students, then processing the info in an interview report.  It is hard not to get emotionally attached to the candidates in hopes for their acceptances.  With close to 30,000 applications each year, though, it is rare for us to get one in.  GG had one two years ago, I had one last year.  We are always exuberant… and then crestfallen for our hopefuls who didn’t make it in.  Good news: many wonderful students end up at fabulous schools around the country.  Princeton’s just sharing the wealth.

What are my prayer intentions for the day?  For baby Josie and her mama.  For Patrick Kelly and his family.  For mourning families.

What can my children do instead of watching TV?  Do Tae-kwon-do.  And not on each other!  Our oldest, M, received martial arts classes from his grandparents for Christmas and *boy* what fun he has had.  He seems to love doing something engaging, active, controlled, and disciplined.  The little ones love to imitate the moves the class is doing.  And I love that this gets us out of the house two afternoons/week–while M is at lessons, I take the little ones out to a playground at the Y or to the Child Watch and have a cup of coffee.  Mama Bliss.  Enough said.

What have I done for my marriage this week?  I have worked on Catholic Engaged Encounter talks with GG.  We are weekend presenters next weekend and are putting the finishing touches on a new set of talks (think 8 talks at 20min/ea).  It has been quite the undertaking, starting back last winter when CEE came out with a new weekend outline and new talk format.  We have been rather reluctant writers during the writing process, but thanks to the upcoming weekend deadline, we are beginning to see the light.  Alleluia!  Our prayer is that God will speak through us to the couples and strengthen their upcoming sacrament.

What am I reading?  The library just informed me it was ready for pick-up– The Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand (author of Seabiscuit).  It is a book I’ll be reading for my moms’ book club.  I hear it’s a good read; a tale of war and survival for a POW.  One woman recommended a light read after finishing this one.  I can imagine it will be more than necessary.

What’s challenging me lately?  At 24 weeks, round ligament pain.  I’m having quite a bit in the evening times and the only thing that helps is sitting or lying down.  I think GG is beginning to wonder if this is my ploy to get out of putting children to bed!  It hurts, I swear!  My theory is that I’m doing too much during the day and stressing the belly muscles/ligaments, which then spasm at night, telling me to slow down.  Caring for children is one thing, but yesterday it was most likely thanks to flip turns in the pool while I swam laps…  Guess that’s an easy thing to give up!

Something that made me think?  I really enjoyed this postfrom Desiring God back in July, discussing motherhood as a calling (and not an obligation).  A friend sent it to me not too long ago and we discussed it at length last night at a Catholic Women’s Fellowship get-together.  It was a really important reminder that my mothering needs to be born out of a sacrifice rooted in unconditional love.  When I am lacking the will for such a sacrifice, I need to crawl back to the Cross and witness the purest, most wonderful sacrifice there ever was.  Praise God for a Savior who gave so much for us; a true inspiration as we love and nurture our children in the day to day.  Even through the tough moments, they are precious gifts.  I want them to grow and know how much their mother cherishes them; even more, how much their God gave for them.

Saw this quote from a friend and loved it…

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says “oh crap, she’s up!”