Articles from June 2009

One comment on my previous post, “Bikini Builders,” asked me to explain the following statement:

“Overall, my appearance is important to me, as I believe a put-together and at least somewhat stylish mode of dress is an important part of my witness as a Christian wife and mother.”

I realize that there are a number of Christians who do not agree with me. The prominence of the one-size-fits-all jean jumper and floral print prairie dress in church circles are evidence of this fact. If you don’t know what I am talking about, just attend a homeschool conference and you will see the wide gamut of interesting dress choices among Catholic mothers and their young daughters.

Dressing without concern for modern style or beauty greatly diminishes our ability to impact the world for Christ. Unlike a nun, who wears a habit to separate herself from the world, we are called to live in the world. We are called to be an example of holy, Christian living and our family is called to be an example of a holy, Christian family. Our bodies speak a language to others, and the way we dress ourselves and our children is our first statement to the world. In many instances, it may be the only statement we can make.

St. Josemaria Escriva, the founder of Opus Dei, makes this point in a far more eloquent manner–

I believe You should dress in accordance with the demands of your social standing, your family background, your work… as your companions do, but to please God: eager to present a genuine and attractive image of true Christian living. Do everything with naturalness, without being extravagant. I can assure you that in this matter it is better to err on the side of excess than to fall short. How do you think Our Lord dressed? Haven’t you pictured to yourself the dignity with which he wore his seamless cloak which had probably been woven for him by Our Lady? Don’t you remember how, in Simon’s house, he was grieved because he had not been offered water to wash his hands before taking his place at the table? No doubt he drew attention to this example of bad manners to underline his teaching that love is shown in little details. But he also wants to make it clear that he stands by the social customs of his time, and therefore you and I must make an effort to be detached from the goods and comforts of the world, but without doing anything that looks odd or peculiar. (emphasis mine)

As Christian mothers, we must strike the difficult balance of detachment from worldly goods and yet presenting ourselves in a manner that is appropriate for our state in life. At a very basic level this means you should shower and make your hair presentable before leaving the house! Most of us will also need to own some formal dresses and jewelry. When we have a playdate with a friend or run to the grocery store, we should dress in manner that is appropriate for a casual gathering (for example modern slacks/jeans/fitted tops). Wearing a floor length floral print dress to the supermarket or a playdate at a local friends house would strike most as odd or peculiar. In general, our goal should be to dress in a manner that respects our femininity and beauty, but at the same time does not draw attention to our appearance. Dressing like we live in the Victorian era, not making time to shower, and/or pulling our unkempt hair up in an 80′s style banana clip, are not likely to inspire others to follow Christ. We live in a secular world. If you want your faith and your values to be listened to, respected, and taken seriously, it helps significantly to dress the part.

In addition to our duty to present Christ to the world, we have an additional duty to take care of our appearance for our husband. St. Josemaria Escriva, in advising married couples, reminds wives of the following:

Another important thing is personal appearance. And I would say that any priest who says the contrary is a bad adviser. As years go by a woman who lives in the world has to take more care not only of her interior life, but also of her looks. Her interior life itself requires her to be careful about her personal appearance; naturally this should always be in keeping with her age and circumstances. I often say jokingly that older facades need more restoration. It is the advice of a priest. An old Spanish saying goes: ‘A well-groomed woman keeps her husband away from other doors.’

I realize this may sound very harsh but there is great wisdom and truth in St. Josemaria Escriva’s words. I can think of countless women, myself included, who neglect their appearance and think little of how this affects their husbands. Whether it be through excessive weight gain, not taking the time to shower, or regularly wearing sweatpants, many of us neglect our appearance and forget that this has an effect on our marriage. When we love someone, we should want to look nice for them, do our hair, wear a little make-up, and dress in an attractive manner. Love is in the details. It is amazing how a little attention to detail can go a long way toward growing a happy and joy filled marriage.

Ladies, once again I am asking for your expert opinion on a Monday morning! I am looking for a Catholic women’s Bible study for the mother’s group at our church, which will meet a total of 10 times over the course of the school year. Last year we did a Christian study called “Effective Parenting in a Defective World,” and it was a hit because there was no preparation involved, so moms felt like they could show up even if they hadn’t read a chapter in a book. The other nice thing about this study was that we watched a 20-minute video segment where the speaker was dynamic, engaging, and educational, and at the end of the segment our moderator used the questions in our book to facilitate discussion. I feel that it can sometimes be awkward for a group leader to be “leading” peers in a Bible study, and I think that this format was helpful – our group leader, a fellow mom, had someone else doing the instruction, and her main job was to facilitate discussion.

I am constantly buying and losing hair bows, so the money might as well be going to a good cause. Danielle Bean pointed out this website, I have not ordered yet, but it looks like a great idea. I do plan to order from them and I will let you know how it goes!

The classic family vacation. Ours was a vision of minivan madness: the car packed to the hilt; cartop carrier overloaded with goods; kids sprawled throughout the vehicle sleeping, eating, listening to headphones, annoying one another with some antic; parents in front arguing over directions or listening (loudly) to talk radio; frequent stops for cooler-packed lunches or potty breaks or ice cream; countless rounds of “Are we there yet?”, name-the-next-dog games, state license plate sightings, and Ad Libs, of course.

Today was the first day of warm weather in the Northeast and so my mind has turned to the topic of appropriate swimwear.

Let me start by saying that I don’t dress like an Amish-Catholic. I wear non-tapered pants, and somewhat stylish tops. I wear make-up, and regularly shower before leaving the house. While I am not the most trendy dresser in the room, I will never be caught dead in the one-size-fits-all denim jumper or floral print prairie dress.

Overall, my appearance is important to me, as I believe a put-together and at least somewhat stylish mode of dress is an important part of my witness as a Christian wife and mother. My goal is to blend-in with my surroundings, all the while dressing in a modest manner so as not to cause an occasion of sin for my brothers in Christ.

And so I just don’t get those Christian women out there who wear a bikini. Every year, I come across another woman in my life, a woman who I know shares many of my deeply held beliefs about faith, and she surprises me by wearing a bikini.

Here are some possible justification I have heard, or can think up, for wearing a bikini–

1. There are bikinis that are more conservative than one piece bathing suits.

2. I look good in a bikini, how else can I show off my superior physique?

3. I look bad in a bikini, I’m not tempting anyone.

4. Christopher West has approved of the practice in his recently released CD, “Bikini-Clad Without Shame,” or something like that.

By discouraging bikini’s I am not encouraging the Pamela Anderson Baywatch one-piece. There are obviously non-bikini style bathing suits that are problematic. By ridiculing one form of beachwear, I’m not approving of all other forms (e.g., nudity). Overall, my point is simple–I cannot come up with a good reason for wearing a bra and underwear in public. Can you?

FRUIT FLIES

Any amazing fourth of July dessert inspirations you can pass along? The white cake with cool whip, strawberries, and blueberries is patriotic and summery but loses its charm after several years (decades), plus its fatal flaw is its lack of chocolate.

If you live in Texas, apparently you’ve chosen well in this uncertain economic climate.

I just wanted to share that our robins continue to grow and thrive. The children have been amazed and remember to check on them everyday through the dining room window. They have feathers now and their eyes are open. It has just been beautiful and amazing to watch them. I am so thankful for the gift of having them in a place where we can really observe. It is funny, we had been planning to take out that bush because it has really intense thorns, but someone who knows the property told me that a robin nests there almost every year — for this, we will leave it alone! I may add a bird bath and feeder to some other windows so we can continue to observe nature. We have a pair of cardinals, too, who visit whenever there are crumbs on our porch, which is often!

We just returned from the Blueberry Capital of the World, and an amazing organic blueberry farm. The berries are just 60 cents a pint or only $3.00 for a huge can (about 10 pints!) The farm is a very small family owned operation. In lieu of a cash register, the farmer places a small box on a table listing the prices of the berries. You pick up your cans, pick, and then pay on an honor system.

The farmer greeted us as we arrived, and let us know that any berries my children ate were free. The children LOVED this, and giggled as the farmer searched around for small cans that would be easier for them to carry. He only found one can, which Charlie (age 3) took and filled. Gianna (age 5) settled for the large can, and she was determined to fill the entire thing by the time we left. To my amazement, she succeeded. The blueberries definitely built up quickly when there is more than one person in our family picking! Augustine (17 months) spent his morning eating a lot of dirty fallen berries. He was so dirty at the end of our outing that the farmer’s wife offered their family hose to clean him off. The battery on my camera died, or else I’d post a picture.

We have returned to this farm to do all our blueberry picking for 4 straight years because of the Farmer’s hospitality, AND because the berries are cheap and organic. I told him he should charge more for the berries, especially for those of us picking with young children. He smiled in a way that seemed to say he loved the children and didn’t care about the money.

The blueberries we picked today are delicious, cheap, and healthy. We are consuming them guilt free, and we might have to make another trip next week!

Upon returning home, we spent our afternoon reading Blueberries for Sal, and then making blueberry cobbler AND whole wheat blueberry muffins. The muffins are a great and healthy breakfast option. The cobbler is amazing for dessert with whipped or iced cream. I thought I’d post both recipes below. Enjoy!

Whole Wheat Blueberry Muffins–

Combine Wet Ingredients–
1 1/2 cups of milk or rice milk
1 cup butter or oil
1 cup honey or sugar
2 eggs
2 Tablespoons grated lemon rind
2 teaspoons vanilla

Combine Dry Ingredients–
4 cups whole wheat pastry flour (or 3 1/2 cups whole wheat flour and 1/2 cup flax seeds)
2 Tablespoons baking powder
2 teaspoons salt

Then add 3 cups blueberries

Mix dry ingredients with wet ingredients, then add blueberries. Preheat oven to 375, bake for 20-25 minutes.

Blueberry Cobbler–

Grease bottom of 8 X 8 inch pan
Lightly toss–
2 cups blueberries
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1 tablespoon flour
1/4 – 1/2 cup sugar ( I use the smaller amount)
1 Tablespoon butter

Spread this mixture on bottom of pan

Then mix–
1/4 cup butter softened
1/4- 1/2 cup sugar
1 egg
1/2 cup milk

Combine dry ingredients and add to wet mix
1 1/2 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

Drop by spoonfuls onto top of cobbler. Bake at 375 for 25-30 minutes. Enjoy!

“Mary, you are going to have a baby, and you better be nice to him, becuase he is the Son of God.”