Posts belonging to Category NFP and Fertility

I am an O- mom entering the last ten weeks of pregnancy, so it is time for my beloved Rhogam shot. For those of you who are not Rh negative, you may not be familiar with the risk associated with delivering Rh+ babies. Essentially my body is full of antibodies developed to combat any baby born with Rh+ blood. Enter Rhogam. This miraculous drug, developed just 40 years ago, is injected into my large pregnant gluteus maximus before each new baby is delivered and then again within 72 hours post-birth with an Rh+ baby. It saves these babies. They would otherwise be susceptible to brain damage, organ failure or even death.

Receiving this shot prompted me to reflect on the blood types of our three children – the first is always safe because your body has not yet generated the dangerous antibodies, but our eldest emerged O+, so my body produced the antibodies then. Number 2 is O-, so he was safe. But Number 3! He is O+ and very well might not have been born healthily without Rhogam’s protection. If I were a woman in the developing world, or a woman without healthcare coverage, this little boy could have died. He is an articulate 2-year-old with massive brown eyes and silky hair who looks and acts like his father and holds my heart in the palm of his hand.. alive because of our blessed circumstances.

Then, I found precious free time to read a National Geographic article on Brazil’s shrinking family size. This article is part of a series that the magazine is running in “honor?”/ “terror” of the milestone of Earth’s population reaching 7 billion. The author maintained a fairly neutral position on small versus large family size, but she made it very clear that Brazil’s ability to lower its national birth rate from 4.2 to 1.9 (below replacement value — cheer!) in just 40 years is viewed as a success by demographers worldwide. 1.9, hmm, 1.9 I kept thinking..  that number also would have eliminated my precious clay-faced Number 3. If I were a statistically average woman in Brazil, I never would have birthed this little guy. The article profiled woman after woman who proudly touted her tubal ligation at age 24 as a real liberation from the difficulties associated with raising more than one or two children. It was explained that two is viewed as socially acceptable only if there is one of each gender. But us!? We had that desired couple. One girl, one boy, and we went for it. We received the most precocious, big-brother-loving toddler I have ever encountered. How dare these “promising statistics” dissuade any woman from meeting her amazing third child. OK, so maybe I was taking this a bit personally, but I am an emotional pregnant woman treasuring the final months of this little guy being the baby.

Really, as my husband and I have continued to live this exhiliratingly terrifying journey of being open to life I am grateful for the gift of each new soul under our roof. I am grateful for the sledgehammers over the head like Rhogam shots and self-centered Brazilian woman for refocusing me on what a precious gift from God each of our children is.

An acquaintance who is Catholic, married in the church and has asked me for advice about catholic schools and ccd for her children, recently mentioned in a casual conversation that she is considering getting her tubes tied.  I stammered a bit and said, oh, don’t do that, it’s so permanent, but afterwards I felt unsure as to whether I should have said more about the moral problems with sterilization.  On the one hand, it is sort of inappropriate to get into it on the playground, and other hand I feel like if she even remotely knew what a concern this was, she wouldn’t mention it so lightly, and if I don’t tell her the truth, maybe no one will?  I am thankful for the people in my life who taught me about the church teaching on contraception, because without them I wouldn’t have the marriage and children that I have, but I don’t want to scare people or seem judgmental.

Thoughts?

If you’re looking for a fantastic, online, FREE way to chart your cycles and track fertility, look no further than Fertility Friend.  It is an awesome site for charting and interpreting your daily data–it goes as far as drawing cover lines, numbering the days of various phases, and even having ready an ovulation predictor.  Thank you, technology!

My husband and I met and married young and are open to life, therefore, we will most likely end up with a big family. This intimidates me. I did not come from a big family and really have had very little exposure to the inner workings of a family with any more than three children. Consequently, I am always in search of role models. Of course Maryalice is my number one (shout-out, hollar) – but we live several thousand miles apart.

I have to search out local mothers of large families to see their approach, size it up, take pieces of it and implement them in our home. Recently I had a troubling conversation with a 36-year-old mother of eight at one of our local playgrounds. She is an Army wife like me and her husband is currently deployed to Iraq on a 12-month tour. Her eldest two children are 18 and 14 year old girls. She has homesechooled all seven children (#8 is in utero) and everyone appears well-adjusted and well put together. As we watched our children play together, I took the opportunity to shamelessly pick her brain on all topics from lunch-preparation, to curriculum design to cloth diapering. I guess my questions inferred that her two eldest daughters helped a lot around the home because the mom felt the need to clarify that a)She did most/all of the food preparation and b) she rarely asked her older children to babysit the younger ones, but took them along with her instead. She went on to explain that she knew too many adults who had grown up as children in large families and were now “burnt out” from all that had been asked of them as children. They were reluctant to have many children themselves because of how much had been asked of them growing up. By shouldering more of the chores herself, this mom believes she is protecting her children from burning out.

Immediately this struck me as odd. I ask a lot of my eldest (5.5 yr.old girl), and she doesn’t seem resentful, but rather, empowered. I have always figured that as long as they don’t see me reading _Cosmo_ and painting my nails (I do that when they are sleeping, yea right) – they understand that we are all in this together and that we will have more time for fun together if we do the hard stuff together. They are already well familiar with my sing-songy “work before play” mantra. Yet, there seems to be a kernel of truth in the playground mother’s fear. I cannot think of many people who have emerged from large families with the desire to be a parent in one themselves, especially girls. I want to hear from you – how do we find the balance of raising helpful, responsible children without turning them into nannies or cooks? Are any of you the products of large families — what did your parents do to make growing up a great experience, even with siblings sandwiching you in every direction?

For a refresher on the difference between contraception and NFP, click here to view the full text of this excellent document put together by my lovely, recently-married, hoping-to-be-a-mom, passionately-Catholic, darn smart friend. Thanks, Mrs. C., for keeping my brain sharp on this fundamental truth.

Today marks the 37th anniversary of the dreadful Roe v. Wade decision. Please take a moment today to pray for an end to abortion in this nation. Pray for all the women hurt by the terrible procedure and all those contemplating an abortion as the solution to their unplanned pregnancy. And please pray for all those attending the March for Life today in Washington DC. May it be a peaceful protest against the legalized killing of innocent children in our nation.

On Christmas Eve our church was filled to capacity. We managed to arrive early enough to find a pew that was empty and pile in our six children along with their coats, angel wings, and a stuffed lamb for the shepherd, but it seemed like we got the last seats, because everyone who walked in after us had to stand…

I felt awkward, sitting when others didn’t have a place, so when a nice looking man approached our pew I pulled the children closer to me and invited him to sit down. Certainly, on Christmas, there was room for one more, I thought…

Read the rest here.

Me–Um, my fertility just returned.

Mr. Red–Wow.

Me–Gus is only 3 months old. NFP is going to require a LOT of abstaining.

Mr. Red–(Silence.)

Me–Well, what do you think?

Mr. Red–I think it’s time to jack-up the Netflix subscription – I’ll need the unlimited plan.

In my brief 29 years of experience, Fertility, Cycles and Nutrition by Marilyn Shannon is the best book I have come across on nutrition for the layperson. In the book, Shannon discusses the link between diet and fertility, AND encourages some basic dietary changes for women and men. I read this book as a newlywed, and I can honestly say that it changed my life. Her book had a huge impact on my diet, my female cycles, and our ability to conceive our children. My husband and I now teach Natural Family Planning classes, and I heartily recommend her book to our students and anyone else who will listen.

And if my own personal testimony isn’t enough for you, Drs. Jorge Chavarro and Walter Willet of the Harvard School of Public Health have confirmed much of what Shannon originally argued 15 -20 years ago. In their new book, The Fertility Diet, Chavarro and Walter compile information from the Nurses Health Study, and make dietary suggestions very similar to what Shannon argued for in her own book many years ago.

In the ongoing Nurses Health Study, started in 1989, thousands of nurses kept records of their diet, exercise, and other life patterns. Chavarro and Walter studied the data from participating nurses who wished to become pregnant. The data showed several correlations between diet and ovulatory infertility. In the latest issue of Family Foundations Magazine (put out by the Couple to Couple League, the largest provider of NFP services in the US), Shannon very humbly summarizes this new book and highlights some of Chavarro and Walter’s recommendations.

1. Avoid trans fats. The artery clogging fats found in many commercially prepared products and fast foods.
2. Use more unsaturated vegetable oils, such as olive oil and canola oil
3. Eat more vegetables protein, like beans and nuts, and less animal protein.
4. Choose whole grains and other sources of carbohydrates that have lower, slower effects on blood sugar and insulin rather than highly refined carbohydrates that quickly boost blood sugar and insulin.
5. Drink a glass of whole milk or have a small dish of ice cream or full-fat yogurt every day; temporarily trade in skim milk and low or no-fat dairy products like cottage cheese and frozen yogurt for their full-fat cousins.
6. Take a multivitamin that contains folic acid and other B vitamins.
7. Get plenty of iron from fruits, vegetables, beans, and supplements but not from red meat.
8. Beverages matter. Water is great; coffee, tea, and alcohol are okay in moderation; leave sugared sodas unopened.
9. Aim for a healthy weight.
10. If you aren’t physically active, start a daily exercise plan.

I find many of these recommendations a matter of common sense, but others are really interesting, particularly the go ahead for full-fat dairy products. The low-fat craze is most evident in dairy products, but natural fat as found in milk is actually very healthy. Our family traded in skim milk for full fat dairy years ago (and believe me this was difficult for me as I actually like the taste of skim milk better!). Plus full fat dairy products are really great for kids and their developing brains.

Ultimately, why is this so important? First of all, many painful infertility treatments can be avoided through dietary and lifestyle changes. But in a broader sense, our fertility is just another sign of our overall health. If a women has irregular cycles that can be aided through dietary changes, well then think of all the other things that might not have been working so well in her body. So the recommendations of this study are really good for everyone, even those not currently trying to add another little one to their family.