Her eyes are finally open!

Josie will be two weeks old tomorrow.  It has been a very blessed and very tiring two weeks.  Some call it a baby moon, but that term doesn’t seem to do justice to just how taxing those first few weeks can be!  It is truly the best kind of exhaustion, but we are all exhausted none-the-less, and now that I have older children, I am realizing that the postpartum time is a true transition for them too.  Two of my children have adjusted to life with Josie with nothing but joy and excitement.  The other two love their little sister but are having a bit of hard time navigating their new roles in our family.  It will take another few weeks, and I know that by February they will all have forgotten what life was like without her.

It’s funny how after delivering 6 babies I am still learning and relearning things about my postpartum self.  I had forgotten how good it feels to not be pregnant.  Those who know me well know that I suffer from great anxiety and even depression when pregnant.  I feel an intense and wonderful transition in my mood within a few hours of childbirth.  It is as if someone is pumping happy drugs into my system, a happiness that I don’t often feel when pregnant.  After my last two deliveries, that feeling of deep joy and peace was masked by postpartum bleeding complications.  This time around I got the right medical attention immediately after childbirth and so the sudden positive emotional change has been wonderful.

I am also relearning that Dad does a tremendous amount of work in the first month.  I am on night duty and nursing duty, but with each subsequent delivery staying off my feet in the first few weeks has become more important.  That means Mr. Red has to deal with all his office responsibilities during the day, and also tend to a great deal of housework, cooking, child care, and cleaning in the morning and evening hours.  He is very tired too, and it is very easy for me to forget his tiredness when the baby awoke 4 times last night.

I am also learning about jaundice in babies that arrive early, about newborn size baby clothes (I’ve never needed or owned clothes of this size before!), and about “block nursing” for women who overproduce milk.  I am relearning how good it feels to get a new pair of running shoes–shoes that will be used for running in one month!  And I am doing all of this learning while holding a sleepy newborn baby in my arms, which is really the best way to learn.

I hope your week is off to a blessed start!

The Birth of Josephine Marie–

First, I would like to thank my sister Elizabeth for the following beautiful photos of Josie’s arrival. She did a phenomenal job capturing Josie’s first moments outside the womb, and I had a very difficult time picking ONLY 10 photos for the blog! If you live in the Philadelphia/Southern NJ area and are interested in her services, visit the Sweet Pea Photography website.

Now on to the birth! Josephine arrived 3 weeks early due to a very small abruption in my placenta. I am overwhelmed with gratitude that I had enough “symptoms” of this issue and that my doctors and midwife acted to hasten things along in the labor department. I had A LOT of anxiety during the process, but the prayers of many family members and friends provided great comfort.  After only 5 hours of labor, little Josie arrived just before midnight on Tuesday January 3rd.

Back in the fall we made the decision to have Gianna come to the hospital to be a part of Josie’s entrance into the world. My sister was generous enough to act as our photographer and Gianna’s support person. Gianna is still rather young, so we had her leave the room for the last hour of my labor when things got rather intense, and she returned immediately after Josie’s birth. She stood behind a curtain and heard her sister’s first cries. She was the first to offer her little sister kisses and held her hand during the newborn exam. It was so special to have her there!

And now, onto the photos…

January 3, 2012

Is it the hat?

My teeny tiny baby

First meeting

I have no words for how much I love this photo

She looks so much like my other babies

newborn exam

Holding her big sister's hand

My support team

We are proud parents--it never gets old!

I am an O- mom entering the last ten weeks of pregnancy, so it is time for my beloved Rhogam shot. For those of you who are not Rh negative, you may not be familiar with the risk associated with delivering Rh+ babies. Essentially my body is full of antibodies developed to combat any baby born with Rh+ blood. Enter Rhogam. This miraculous drug, developed just 40 years ago, is injected into my large pregnant gluteus maximus before each new baby is delivered and then again within 72 hours post-birth with an Rh+ baby. It saves these babies. They would otherwise be susceptible to brain damage, organ failure or even death.

Receiving this shot prompted me to reflect on the blood types of our three children – the first is always safe because your body has not yet generated the dangerous antibodies, but our eldest emerged O+, so my body produced the antibodies then. Number 2 is O-, so he was safe. But Number 3! He is O+ and very well might not have been born healthily without Rhogam’s protection. If I were a woman in the developing world, or a woman without healthcare coverage, this little boy could have died. He is an articulate 2-year-old with massive brown eyes and silky hair who looks and acts like his father and holds my heart in the palm of his hand.. alive because of our blessed circumstances.

Then, I found precious free time to read a National Geographic article on Brazil’s shrinking family size. This article is part of a series that the magazine is running in “honor?”/ “terror” of the milestone of Earth’s population reaching 7 billion. The author maintained a fairly neutral position on small versus large family size, but she made it very clear that Brazil’s ability to lower its national birth rate from 4.2 to 1.9 (below replacement value — cheer!) in just 40 years is viewed as a success by demographers worldwide. 1.9, hmm, 1.9 I kept thinking..  that number also would have eliminated my precious clay-faced Number 3. If I were a statistically average woman in Brazil, I never would have birthed this little guy. The article profiled woman after woman who proudly touted her tubal ligation at age 24 as a real liberation from the difficulties associated with raising more than one or two children. It was explained that two is viewed as socially acceptable only if there is one of each gender. But us!? We had that desired couple. One girl, one boy, and we went for it. We received the most precocious, big-brother-loving toddler I have ever encountered. How dare these “promising statistics” dissuade any woman from meeting her amazing third child. OK, so maybe I was taking this a bit personally, but I am an emotional pregnant woman treasuring the final months of this little guy being the baby.

Really, as my husband and I have continued to live this exhiliratingly terrifying journey of being open to life I am grateful for the gift of each new soul under our roof. I am grateful for the sledgehammers over the head like Rhogam shots and self-centered Brazilian woman for refocusing me on what a precious gift from God each of our children is.

Last week we had a joyful day

While Mr. Incredible worked far away.

We wanted to share it while he was far from home,

so we emailed him pictures to his iPhone.

The three happy brothers reacted with glee

to see our new little one floating on the little TV!

That’s right….we have a tiny new one

who just can’t wait to join the fun!

For weeks now my stomach has done flip flops

And sometimes there is just one thing to make it stop.

Last week the baby wanted risotto at nine o’clock.

My husband smiled patiently, betrayed no shock,

but went into the pantry to get the stock.

I gently directed while laying down

While Mr. Incredible ladled hot stock and stirred round and round.

The shallots were chopped and the parmesan grated

while I sat pathetically on the couch and waited.

It was delicious, contented my tummy

and it was made with love by my wonderful hubby.

I’ll only feel nausea for a few more weeks,

but my Mr. Incredible, he is for keeps!

*Cheesy poem courtesy of pregnancy hormones.

It’s a GIRL!!!!!

I just had my full anatomy ultrasound this morning and we are having a beautiful baby girl!!!  As her mother, I can already tell she is beautiful.  Everything they were able to see with the baby looked great (PRAISE GOD!!!!), but I did have a partial previa of my placenta.  They assured me that the placenta is very likely to move up as the weeks pass, but I have to return in a few short weeks for another ultrasound.  In addition, there were two pictures of the baby that were not clear due to her positioning, so I have to return for that as well.  Has anyone else had a partial previa of their placenta?  If so, did it move up as time passed?  I left feeling like it wasn’t that big of a deal, but the placenta positioning certainly explains some of the strange symptoms I have had in the past few months.

Our newest addition, due in January

for the good news on my u/s yesterday!  Baby looks very good, nice big round head!!!!!  Thank you all for the prayers.  They sustained me.

I can’t tell you how humbled I am by the prayers of my family, friends, and complete strangers.  You are all amazing, and I’m so thankful for every prayer said on our behalf.  I’m sure I’ll feel the anxiety set in again before the next big scan at 18 weeks…but for today I’m just feeling very thankful, very blessed, and very happy!!!!

First, thank you all for your prayers on behalf of my family, and especially on behalf of my 3 year old son Gus.  Gus was very sick for most of May.  He was in and out of the hospital during that time, and doctors ran a number of test to determine the cause of his illness.  He was diagnosed with a rare GI disease, but there is still some uncertainty as to the exact cause of his recent flare-up, or the possibility of an additional underlying illness.  Overall though, Gus has made a remarkable recovery.  After losing 6 pounds and almost 20% of his body weight, he has gained most of the weight back (4 of the 6 pounds as of his latest appointment), he is eating better than ever before, and generally doing very well.  We are sincerely grateful for all who prayed for Gus and our family.

To add to the craziness of May, we discovered that we are expecting another baby, due in January.  Overwhelmed best sums up our feelings, but now that the weeks are passing and Gus is doing so much better, we are feeling very blessed with this new life and excited about our growing family.  It helps that I am not nearly as sick as I was with my last pregnancy!

As many of you are aware, we lost our first baby at full term to a severe and fatal neural tube defect called anencephaly.  On Thursday of this week, we have an ultrasound to rule out anencephaly.  And so I am again asking for prayers.  The days and weeks leading up to this ultrasound are never pleasant for me.  I am anxiety prone, sleepless, and emotional.  With each early pregnancy, it seems I relive our experience 9 years ago with Therese.   Five children later, it doesn’t seem to get any easier.  But I know your prayers are powerful, and so I humbly ask for them.

I just finished reading Interior Freedom by Jacques Philippe, and I highly recommend it.  It was suggested to me on my March Opus Dei retreat, and I used the book for spiritual meditations over the last few months.  I thought I would share a passage from the book this morning:

“The worst kind of suffering is not that which we experience; it is represented suffering that grips the imagination and makes us adopt false attitudes.  It is not reality (basically positive, even with its share of suffering) that causes problems, but the way we imagine it and depict it…projecting things into the future crushes us–not experiencing suffering but anticipating it.”

In a recent issue of the Princeton Alumni Weekly, there was an article discussing happiness.  According to that article, people suffer far worse from their imagination of future sad events, than from their actual experience of the event.  I know this to be true in my own life.  When I was pregnant with out daugther Therese, who we knew would die at birth, I spent the greater part of my pregnancy suffering with fears as to how I could watch my daughter die.  I didn’t live in the present, but let my mind wander towards the future.  When she was born the grace was there, and at the time of her birth and death I felt more grace and peace than at any other moment of my life.  And yet for months the fear of that moment caused me such worry and anxiety.  And again after her birth, my grief mixed with fear for the future of our family, and I was consumed with worries about never having another healthy baby.  My very real present suffering was greatly exaggerated by allowing all sorts of future fears to consume me.  This seems to be a pattern with me, especially during pregnancies.

I am always relearning the lesson that God doesn’t give grace in advance.  Sufficient for today is the days own troubles.  While I used some serious situations above to demonstrate my point, there are much simplier ways to illustrate this teaching.  I often spend part of my day fearing a workout, or a phone call, or a family gathering.  And yet that workout or phone call is never as bad as I imagined it to be, and often my anticipation of the event was the worst part of the entire experience.  We have plenty of real suffering in the present moment, and this suffering can be real fruit to our lives.  But the idea of suffering, the anticipation of suffering must be crushed.  And so today I pray that God may give us all the grace to live only in the present moment.

Here’s an insightful response to the discussion from Notes on Natural from our very own doc-in-training, friend, and fellow Princeton alum, Queen B:

I still remember sitting with our first daughter in Mass a few weeks after she was born.  As the priest raised the host and said, “This is my body, broken for you,” the words took on new meaning for me.  I suddenly realized that, as a new mother having just given birth to my daughter, I understood and experienced this body-sacrificing love in a new way.   As mothers, in pregnancy, childbirth, nursing and child-rearing, we really do give our bodies for our children.  Sometimes this gift comes at a great cost to us, sometimes it is just full of little crosses.  Either way, what an honor and privilege it is to participate so intimately in the Lord’s work.  As mothers, carrying out our vocations in love, we truly stand on holy ground (Exodus 3:5).

In a recent post, one mother was seeking help with one of the common crosses of pregnancy, varicose veins. These little buggers are superficial dilated veins that often occur without symptoms, but may cause itching, heaviness, cramping, aching, and leg fatigue that worsens with standing and in hot weather. They show up in about 30% of pregnancies and are more common in women with family history of varicosities, in tall women, women who stand for prolonged periods of time, those with a more sedentary lifestyle, or women who have had previous pregnancies. Unfortunately, they can increase in severity with each successive pregnancy. There is debate as to whether the tendency to develop varicosities in pregnancy is primarily due to the blood flow (hemodynamic) changes of pregnancy, hormonal changes (progesterone and estrogen may affect vein valve failure) or a combination of both.

So, how can we manage these annoying veins? The good news is that most pregnant women see an improvement in their varicosities after pregnancy, and some will see almost complete resolution of their varicosities. If you are having this problem while you are pregnant, some of the options below may help.

-TAKE THE PRESSURE OFF: Avoid standing or sitting with your feet on the ground for prolonged periods of time. Long car or airline trips or sitting all day can make the pressure build up in your lower veins, making the problem worse. Consider finding alternative positions for accomplishing activities that you normally do standing. For labor, are there positions you can tolerate which allow you to elevate your legs?

-ELEVATE: Periodically elevating your legs higher than your chest will also help prevent pressure build-up. Elevating your legs improves blood flow to the deeper veins and the heart and also improves oxygenation in your legs. This is a great excuse to rest and put up your feet! It is important to do this regularly throughout the day. The amount of time suggested based on studies is anywhere from 10 minutes every 2 hours to 30 minutes every 4 hours. Either way, the bottom line is to elevate regularly. Think of this as a health regimen, it may require planning. ONE NOTE: especially in pregnant women, you may occasionally experience leg cramps when you elevate properly, because of electrolyte (sodium, potassium, calcium) changes around your muscles as the blood flows back into the correct veins. This is uncomfortable but not dangerous. Stay hydrated, massage the cramps or try standing, all of which can improve leg cramps.

-ACTIVATE: Regular physical activity (low impact, like walking or swimming) is not only generally healthy for you in pregnancy but also helps maintain circulatory flow through leg veins and should make varicosities feel better. One study I saw also mentioned that exercises focusing on calf muscles may improve varicosity symptoms.

-COMPRESSION STOCKINGS: Although not glamourous, compression stockings really do help improve symptoms for most people. Studies suggest that they are more effective, especially in younger people, when COMBINED with regular leg elevation. Compression stockings come in 4 sizes: grade I-IV; generally grade I or II are used, with grade II (30-40mmHg) providing the most relief. Generally, it is recommended that you put on the stockings before getting out of bed in the morning and wear them until bedtime unless otherwise instructed (swimming would be a good reason to take them off), as swelling and symptoms will quickly recur when the stockings are taken off. If the stockings seem to make the problem worse they may be too constrictive or hot, both of which can increase varicosity pain. You may want to look for another pair or try a different size–call around to hospitals in your area or medical supply stores and see what kinds of compression stockings they offer. If, after a trial of 2-4 weeks you do not notice an improvement, you may want to focus your energies on elevation and activity rather than compression.

-Horse Chestnut Seed Extract: Unfortunately, there is not enough scientific evidence to recommend the safe use of this product during pregnancy and breastfeeding at this time. HCSE is a complementary therapy (an herbal supplement–meaning that it is not strictly regulated by the FDA) that has been historically used to treat chronic venous insufficiency and has recently gotten a lot of attention in the medical community because studies have shown some benefit for venous flow problems. Studies are suggesting that it improves symptoms of varicose veins. Aescin appears to the be active ingredient. It provides a weak diuretic effect (causes your kidneys to release more water), may decrease fluid leak out of veins (which causes swelling) and may improve vein tone. There are few reported side effects at standard doses (mostly nausea, and rare reports of liver and renal problems), but it is important to avoid unprocessed horsechestnut seeds and bark because both have been associated with significant toxicity and death. Again, this supplement HAS NOT been tested in pregnancy or breastfeeding, and should not be considered harmless for a pregnant women or her baby. If you use it after pregnancy, always tell your doctor that you are using it, just as you would tell him/her about other medications you are taking.

If symptoms are severe enough and you are up for surgery, there are several options for surgical treatment. They include:
-External laser ablation (better for smaller varicosities): uses a laser to clog the vein so it will disintegrate.
-Sclerotherapy (also good for small veins): an injection that causes obliteration of the vein by inflammation and scar tissue.
-Surgical ligation and stripping: small incision over the concerning areas to allow removal of the involved vein. These are generally outpatient procedures and most patients return to work in 2-5 days. Seems to have a longer lasting benefit than sclerotherapy, however up to 33% of patients have had a recurrence in their varicosities after 5 year.

Whew, that is a lot of information to digest. Hopefully your feet were up All of this information is from current medical literature, journals and studies (this is my plug to be careful of the sources when reading online!), but the author feels obligated to remind her readers that she is still relatively early in her medical training: in her senior year of medical school. It is always important to talk about your specific symptoms and experience with a doctor who you trust.

Saint Gerard Majella, patron saint of expectant mothers, pray for us.

Thank you to our many wonderful readers who have offered encouragement and support leading up to the delivery of our fourth precious babe.  As Mary Alice reported last week, our little “MG” arrived a week ago today, weighing in at a healthy 7lbs. 14oz. and giving off a lusty cry to proclaim to the world her grand entrance.

And “grand” it was.  I won’t go into the long and short of my entire labor experience  (if you’d like to partake, you can read more about it here), but I will say it was pretty darn awesome.

To watch one’s body perform just as it was meant to; just as it has for other women from the beginning of time, is a really gratifying experience.  For me, modern medicine tried to interfere, but couldn’t hold a candle to my body’s natural way of bringing forth life.  Everything went just as planned (a few outside hiccups aside!)

As an athlete does before a big game, I prepared.  I “trained”, I meditated, I imagined how it would all look, feel, and transpire.  When it came down to the big event, it happened and I responded.  Mainly, I let my body do what it was meant to do.  And the outcome couldn’t have been better or more gratifying.  We had our healthy baby girl, who was alert, aware, and ready to take on the world!!!

Having a wonderfully supportive husband was key–he provided counterpressure to my hips through every contraction.  Ask him how his arms felt the next day! :)  Having a doula was also vital to our success.  She was the extra piece GG and I need to help keep us focused and less distracted by the outside variables of the hospital.

I ended up reading three books recommended by you all (thank you!): Husband Coached Childbirth (Bradley), The Doula Guide to Birth (Lowe and Zimmerman), and The Birth Book (Sears and Sears) all which were immensely helpful and informative.  Never during the labor was I “in the dark” about what was transpiring.  I was in tune with my body because I knew exactly what was going on.  When I felt the urge to push, I knew transition (the most painful part) was almost over.  For a need-to-know kind of gal, I was aware of everything and it all was fantastic!

Lastly, a quick plug for those of you (like me) who might never have considered a natural labor.  I invite you to look into it and be amazed at the process and outcome.  A dear friend of mine just had her third child and first natural delivery and is now such a fan!  And that’s after birthing a 9lb. baby boy!  The joy is contagious!  I could hear her glow through the phone and she’s been riding the high now for two weeks.  What a feat!

We are still reeling after our own wonderful experience and I can’t thank you enough for your support.  Person to person; woman to woman; mother to mother–that’s what this blog is all about.